Toothless

I’ve heard once from a tv show that every seven years, something significant happens in one’s life.

Indeed.

In my life, it is real.

Seven years ago, i had an accident. I acquired a high fever and while walking back to my grandparents’ room where I rest, I fainted and i unintentionally smashed my face on the wall. A few seconds after, I regained consciousness and found that I broke my left front tooth in half and had wounds on my mouth. I thought i was just dreaming and I badly want to wake up, but sadly I’m in the reality. My tooth left a mark on our wall.

I was a high school sophomore, in the middle of campaign period where I was a school council candidate. I have to immediately get back to school to do my jobs. And the dentist did a temporary solution to my tooth, which was to put a plastic tooth jacket that needs replacement after a minimum of two years, that is what he recommended. But since, my tooth had its ‘trauma’ which means it had abscess inside, I need to undergo procedures to cure it. Procedures that are quite expensive too and requires time. I was too young that time and thought it was a huge problem and i dreaded over it for the past years of my life. Vanity for me was a lot of deal and thinking of what I was facing, I got depressed and  I questioned my own worth for a long time. I though so much about it, overanalyzed my situation and told myself that I don’t deserve happiness because I thought i was ugly and no one can accept me as I am. I thought that I was fake and had no beauty because of my imperfections; my hair is a fake straight hair because of rebond; I had a lot of pimples and scars; plus I have a fake tooth which made everything a lot worse.

At that phase in my life, I got my biggest fear of losing my tooth and I don’t want to be at the point where the dentist have to extract my left front tooth completely or it might actually extract on its own. Because I don’t really know what i should do. Or what can i do.

But life went on, and it won’t stop just because I am losing my confidence or shaking my faith and doubting everything else. Life goes on.

I was in first year college when I underwent procedures and did a replacement of my tooth jacket. I thought everything was fine and i can restore some of my confidence because I expected everything went well.

But it was in my fourth year, i decided to try replacing my tooth jacket with a more permanent one that can last longer and my new dentist found out that the problem never left, or it left but it came back and so she cannot do what I came for. The trauma was still there, and it is a cyst that grows larger at the root of my left front tooth and it can cause so much pain that the tooth must be extracted.

And so my fear, I must face.

Options are laid in front of me and I only have to pick my best choice. The options are quite complicated and I won’t elaborate those. But i chose dental braces, and it means my dentist will extract four teeth including my front tooth and try to rearrange everything and I know that God made all of those that happened to me a blessing in disguise.

This year is the seventh year after the accident.

It is a week now since my left front tooth was extracted along with other three teeth and i don’t regret anything. The rearranging is still in process and it is painful really, but i don’t care, i am actually happier when my tooth was extracted. And yes, i am now toothless and uglier, maybe but I don’t really care what other people think. I know God has better plans to better me. And that’s what matters to me.

I understood a lot of things in the past seven years….

I was too vain and I care so much of my physical appearance and what other people think before everything happened. In my young age, I highly valued the things that are not important. And so God let those things happen to me to humble me. He made me see what I should value more in this life. I saw God, I had my faith and I will never be satisfied with my faith because God deserves more faith than we can ever have.

I am fine and i am so much blessed to have my family and friends that accepted me for who I really am. I thought i will be ashamed of how I look like now but I am not. Not even in the slightest. I am so blessed that my family and friends understood me and support me and they never left me.

If to be given a chance to go back in time to try and change everything, i won’t. I won’t change a single thing. i will choose to faint and unintentionally smash my face on the wall over and over again because in the past seven years, everything was so priceless.

Advertisements

Published by

Jnnpld

Hi, I'm j, 21 years of age. I am a fresh graduate of architecture. I want to explore life to the fullest. And if you want to talk to me, please do. jannapalad@gmail.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s