4:46 A.M.

July 18, 2016

It’s raining.

And I am blogging.

There’s a certain positive feeling about today. I don’t know what is but i am happy about it.

I guess my old self is back. She took some vacation because she’s getting bored so she asked the other me to take over my body and made me try to do things out of the ordinary.

The feeling was the same as losing one’s self. I was used to be on my own and out of the blue, someone knocked on my door and tried to show me how it feels to have somebody to love. And it was definitely more fun! But circumstances did not allow me to have that experience for as long as I want it. It was so fast. I had to go back to being on my own in everything and I was not ready.

Maybe I felt lost somehow, but you know, it is always our option to go back or find our way back.

I hope I can finally get over what it was, and move forward for life never cease over these little moments.

It’s almost 5 in the morning and as almost usual, I’m still up.


I’m thinking about my two close friends now.

Those are two girls that are worth finding. They are extremely beautiful without them knowing. They choose not to know. They were amazing , talented, and wise, again, without them bragging. I am not lying about them. They are tall, they can use it to their advantage and  maybe try modelling or pageants but no, they choose not to, maybe for now. But I hope they try. Sayang, they already have what it takes, the beauty and the brains and of course, their hearts.

We always have the kind of conversations na hahanap-hanapin mo. Yung deep but chill na conversations about life, love, what we’re currently up to, worries, fears, likes, dislikes, prayers, hopes and dreams, future boyfriends and all other  additional humours na talaga namang natural lang na masalit sa mga little chikahan. Because we all have gift of humour. Kapag nagtatawanan kami, ang lakas lakas, parang wala nang bukas, kase nakakatawa talaga kapag biruan part.

I remember our conversation under the university tree one summer afternoon. Sobrang sarap balikan non. (This is worth another blog post) So saka ko na lang ikukwento yon.

They both pray for love life. Because they long for it. Matagal na. Kahit magaganda sila, hindi sila ligawin because they themselves, alam nila how to keep their calm pagdating sa ganyang usapan. Hindi kami nagmamadali but we want to experience the feeling of having someone. Lalo sila. They pray for it and I pray na ibigay na sana ni Lord sa kanila. They deserve someone na magmamahal sa kanila the way they want to. Swerte din naman the guys na mamahalin nila.

They pray for mine also. But I don’t know if I need him right now. I’m okay with how I am now. Hindi pa ko ready, alam ko. Pero sila, gusto na nila.

The Lord hears and knows what our hearts desire so I know, the time will come. God will hear it girls. Alam niyo naman yon.


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Hi, I'm j, 21 years of age. I am a fresh graduate of architecture. I want to explore life to the fullest. And if you want to talk to me, please do. jannapalad@gmail.com

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