In times like this, I always want you more.
I love you even if I don’t know you yet. I love writing letters for you. I feel it in my heart, the longing for you. It’s been 21 years.
When can I see you? Are we destined to live long lives, that’s why we still haven’t met yet? Will I ever meet you? Will we spend many years of our lives together? While I am writing this down, I can feel you wanting me also. I hope this feeling isn’t just psychological.
For the last few months, I am resisting the urge to write for you mainly because I really don’t know if I should be writing to you. What if I am destined to serve God, and He’ll ask me to sacrifice you? I can never say No to that. I’ll joyfully say yes. In anything that’s for a greater good, I will never doubt on sacrificing you. I hope you understand. So if so much years have gone by and we never met, maybe that is why.
But from now on, I will be writing letters for you. You are my escape in this dull world of mine. Don’t get me wrong. The world is so beautiful. Every single color I see will always be a reason for me to sing and smile. But without you, it’s just plainly there. I know it’s beautiful but I am having a hard time appreciating its existence. Know that I didn’t so much waste many time with some other guys. I almost never did. Because I am waiting for nobody else but you.
I am already yawning, my love. It’s 2:37 am. My escape time.
I’ll go to sleep.
see you soon,